One of the strangest aspects of online life is this sense of false intimacy we get from it. I guess it’s a kind of human need, this need for connection, which one gets JUST ENOUGH OF through tweets or other exchanges to feel one actually is having a conversation – when most of the time, truth is, it’s a fragment at best.
For instance: I’ve just “tweeted” Stephen Fry, after seeing on my Twitter page that he’d just landed in Russia and was waiting to “deplane”. Even though I knew it was actually quite rude of me I couldn’t quite stop myself from tweeting back, to take the mickey out of the term… when I know perfectly well 1) that I don’t know him AT ALL, so what am I doing attacking what he says? and 2) “deplane” is a nasty verb but many do use it with a sort of post-modern twist. The illusion that one can fire a reply off to somebody one “knows” is held up by the way the conversation stream is managed and constructed. Stephen doesn’t see my reply, because as far as I know he isn’t following me, but I still get the thrill of having what appears to be an exchange with a star.
If the gos is correct, this issue is acute in online dating. When you finally meet the person who’s your online soul-mate, many people find themselves thinking they’ve already done the negotiation process which sustainable intimacy requires. Not true: the illusion e-mails and IMs have created is forceful enough to make you forget you’ve barely met and may be different in person. So many expectations – likely to have been carefully stage-managed and worked into one’s life to suit a personal agenda and schedule – are a heavy load for any new relationship. No wonder so many complain that online dating is full of sharks. Perhaps it’s merely over-weighted by hopes and fantasy.
But is this such a bad thing – or do we just need to understand it, keep it in mind, adapt our behaviour accordingly? After all, it’s likely to be here to stay, and there’s no indication that the need to cyber-connect is going to go away.
ADHD “Attention span deficit” is the disorder of the moment – but what if this were an adaptation, not a disorder at all? An adaptation to screen-living and relating, which requires rapid responding to disparate fragments of what’s available in the environment.
Maybe these are the true children of the digital and TV ages, who – when brought into conventional settings – have no skills that match up. All they know how to do is press the remote…. So – I’m sorry, Stephen, will you forgive me? Or is is more likely that, by now, you too are on to something new and more interesting…
(c)2009 Alex Brunel. All rights reserved.
Source by Alexandra Brunel
Breaking Internetional News: 2017-10-20 04:00:31
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- Third city investigating Harvey Weinstein
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- France mulls law to fine men for catcalling, harassing women
- CIA Director Mike Pompeo said the United States has to act as if North Korea is on the verge of being able to strike it with a missile and act accordingly -- and that President Donald Trump is ready to do so.
- The fatal effects of pollution are seen across our planet.
- Filmmaker Gabriel Chaim has been embedded with US-backed forces in Raqqa. He has been filming GoPro footage throughout his time there.
- It was here, at the main square in Raqqa, that ISIS militants unveiled their brutality to the world -- they carried out public executions for offenses as minor as smoking and placed the heads of the dead on spikes.
- As US-backed forces this week announced they'd ousted ISIS from its self-declared capital in Syria, the fate of the terror group's reclusive leader, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, remains a mystery.
- White House chief of staff John Kelly said Thursday he advised President Donald Trump on what to say before he called the families of the four fallen soldiers who died during an ambush in Niger.
- Defense Secretary James Mattis wants answers regarding the ambush by 50 ISIS-affiliated fighters that left four US soldiers dead and two wounded in Niger two weeks ago, three senior US defense officials told CNN Wednesday.
- A seven-minute video showing a woman being beaten, raped and then beheaded in a public square in the Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC), was circulating on the messaging platform Whatsapp for months before being validated and published by France 24 last week.
- President Donald Trump sent this tweet on Thursday morning: "Workers of firm involved with the discredited and Fake Dossier take the 5th. Who paid for it, Russia, the FBI or the Dems (or all)?"
- China has called on the US to "abandon its prejudices" after US Secretary of State Rex Tillerson claimed Beijing was subverting the global order and pursuing predatory economic policies.
- In July, a group of long-time, mostly Latino residents of Los Angeles' Boyle Heights neighborhood staged protests outside a trendy new coffee shop called Weird Wave Coffee, holding signs that read "Amerikkkano" and "WHITE COFFEE."
- Most of us get rid of old autos when their engines finally give up, but one man has turned his battered old VW Beetle into what he claims is the world's smallest hotel.
- Few issues have divided the Australian public in recent times as much as the vote on same-sex marriage.
- In November 2014, the Guardians of Peace -- a group affiliated with the North Korean government -- hacked Sony Pictures because the studio was planning to release "The Interview," a movie they felt insulted their leader, Kim Jong Un.
- The University of Florida in Gainesville is bracing for a day of protests Thursday when white supremacist Richard Spencer arrives to deliver a speech on his racist views on campus.
- It has taken me a few days to process the sudden explosion of allegations of sexual harassment, abuse and assault made against Harvey Weinstein. Each woman who steps forward leaves me with a mixture of emotions. On the one hand, I feel an overwhelming sense of relief and pride when I see women joining together to share their stories. On the other, I experience a sense of horror over the staggering number of accusers. Women stripped of their power, silenced and shamed.
- The Los Angeles Police Department has opened an investigation into Harvey Weinstein after a person has come forward with an allegation of sexual assault against the disgraced movie mogul.
- Los Angeles City Attorney Mike Feuer has launched an investigation into California-based drugmaker Avanir Pharmaceuticals, the subject of a CNN report into its aggressive targeting of nursing home residents with a drug called Nuedexta that may be unnecessary or unsafe for this population.
- Rock music plays on the radio in Romano Puntin's workshop which is littered with tools and cars in various states of repair.
- Men who catcall, harass or follow women on the street in France could face on-the-spot fines under a new sexual-abuse law planned by the country's minister for gender equality.
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