One of the strangest aspects of online life is this sense of false intimacy we get from it. I guess it’s a kind of human need, this need for connection, which one gets JUST ENOUGH OF through tweets or other exchanges to feel one actually is having a conversation – when most of the time, truth is, it’s a fragment at best.
For instance: I’ve just “tweeted” Stephen Fry, after seeing on my Twitter page that he’d just landed in Russia and was waiting to “deplane”. Even though I knew it was actually quite rude of me I couldn’t quite stop myself from tweeting back, to take the mickey out of the term… when I know perfectly well 1) that I don’t know him AT ALL, so what am I doing attacking what he says? and 2) “deplane” is a nasty verb but many do use it with a sort of post-modern twist. The illusion that one can fire a reply off to somebody one “knows” is held up by the way the conversation stream is managed and constructed. Stephen doesn’t see my reply, because as far as I know he isn’t following me, but I still get the thrill of having what appears to be an exchange with a star.
If the gos is correct, this issue is acute in online dating. When you finally meet the person who’s your online soul-mate, many people find themselves thinking they’ve already done the negotiation process which sustainable intimacy requires. Not true: the illusion e-mails and IMs have created is forceful enough to make you forget you’ve barely met and may be different in person. So many expectations – likely to have been carefully stage-managed and worked into one’s life to suit a personal agenda and schedule – are a heavy load for any new relationship. No wonder so many complain that online dating is full of sharks. Perhaps it’s merely over-weighted by hopes and fantasy.
But is this such a bad thing – or do we just need to understand it, keep it in mind, adapt our behaviour accordingly? After all, it’s likely to be here to stay, and there’s no indication that the need to cyber-connect is going to go away.
ADHD “Attention span deficit” is the disorder of the moment – but what if this were an adaptation, not a disorder at all? An adaptation to screen-living and relating, which requires rapid responding to disparate fragments of what’s available in the environment.
Maybe these are the true children of the digital and TV ages, who – when brought into conventional settings – have no skills that match up. All they know how to do is press the remote…. So – I’m sorry, Stephen, will you forgive me? Or is is more likely that, by now, you too are on to something new and more interesting…
(c)2009 Alex Brunel. All rights reserved.
Source by Alexandra Brunel
Breaking Internetional News: 2017-08-18 03:58:39
- Police shoot four in possible second terror attack in Cambrils hours after van rams crowds in Barcelona
- Trump: Removal of Confederate monuments 'so foolish'
- Video shows what happened in Charlottesville
- What if Donald Trump is just winging it?
- Amid the storm, Ivanka Trump stays silent
- Bannon calls white supremacists 'clowns'
- Sierra Leone: New mudslide threat looms
- Far-right Australian senator slammed for burqa 'stunt'
- Ten-year-old rape victim gives birth
- Russia's media: serving people or power
- Tourists couldn't care less about N. Korea's threats
- Malala 'so excited' to go to Oxford Uni
- Saving endangered turtles in a former war zone
- Daily Stormer: Now Russia blocks neo-Nazi website
- Striking similarities between KKK and Islamist jihadis
- NFL star: 'I can't stand for the national anthem'
- Fernando Alonso may 'look outside F1'
- Grace Mugabe asks for diplomatic immunity over alleged assault
- 32 killed in bloody night for Duterte's war on drugs
- Trump has a point on pulling down statues
- On Thursday afternoon, a van rammed into a crowd of people in Barcelona, killing 13 and injuring at least 100 people.
- A Hong Kong court has jailed Joshua Wong and two other leaders of the 2014 "Umbrella Movement," three years after they helped organize the largest pro-democracy protests ever held in the city.
- Looking at video captured in Charlottesville, Virginia, we can better understand the events that unfolded over the weekend.
- When President Donald Trump says or does something controversial or just plain dumb, the initial analysis is almost always the same: He's doing this on purpose to distract from something else!
- Sequestered on a brief holiday with her husband Jared Kushner in Vermont, Ivanka Trump, President Donald Trump's eldest daughter -- one of his senior advisers and the closest member of his family who is Jewish -- has yet to comment on the events of her father's Tuesday afternoon press conference.
- Embattled White House chief strategist Steve Bannon declared in an interview published Wednesday that the US is at "economic war with China," promised aggressive trade actions against Beijing and said he is "fighting" other top White House aides "every day."
- The death toll from a devastating mudslide on the outskirts of Sierra Leone's capital climbed Thursday to 331 as mourners prepared to lay their dead to rest in a mass burial.
- An Australian senator known for her strong stance against Muslim immigration has been widely condemned for wearing a burqa to Parliament House.
- A ten-year old rape victim who was denied an abortion has given birth in northern India.
- The US continues to consider military options to respond to North Korea's aggressive pursuit of missile capabilities, Secretary of State Rex Tillerson said Thursday, swatting down claims that White House chief strategist Steve Bannon made in a magazine interview that "there's no military solution" to tensions with the rogue nation.
- Children splashing in the Mediterranean, young men and women in swimwear smoking hookah -- this could be any holiday hot spot, but it's Latakia, a seaside town in war-torn Syria.
- Malala Yousafzai says she is "so excited" after being accepted to study at the world famous University of Oxford.
- In southern Lebanon, near the border with Israel, lies a distinctive orange house.
- Much has changed since the height of the refugee crisis that gripped Europe in the summer of 2015. Since the shocking images of drowned Syrian toddler Alan Kurdi went viral, the crisis has largely been out of international headlines.
- The white nationalists and KKK members who marched on Charlottesville, Virginia, have a great deal in common with a separate group they would never lock arms with -- or march alongside, bearing store-bought tiki torches.
- Michael Bennett can no longer stay silent. And while he likely doesn't want to have the same fate as Colin Kaepernick -- who is without an NFL team -- the Seattle Seahawks defensive end is taking social action.
- Fernando Alonso has had plenty of time to ponder his future over Formula One's summer break, but as the 2017 season gets set to resume in Spa, decision day is fast approaching for the two-time world champion.
- Zimbabwe's first lady Grace Mugabe is seeking diplomatic immunity over allegations of assault in South Africa.
- Thirty-two suspected drug dealers were killed in shootouts across one province in the Philippines on Tuesday, police said, in a bloody 24 hours for the country's war on drugs.
- "Repulsive" was the word used by House of Representative Speaker Paul Ryan.
Originally posted 2017-06-21 09:45:10. Republished by Blog Post Promoter