Losing a child custody case may seem to you like losing your child forever. You may just be beginning to realize that you won’t be able to be with your child the way you want to be since legal restrictions will get in the way.
Who can blame the parent who has lost a custody battle for feeling bitter, angry, depressed and anxious? How does one cope with the loss and the resultant feelings?
Ill feelings as a result of losing a custody battle are indeed valid feelings but will be self-defeating in the long run for yourself and for everyone around you, especially for your children if you do not work on immediately changing them to positive thinking.
The first step to take would be to get all the help that you need. This could mean seeking professional help. An expert such as a psychologist or a counselor can help you re-attain your emotional and mental health and develop a more positive outlook. It is often very helpful to find someone you can talk to regarding the painful experience you have just gone through. You might decide to undergo therapy to help you accept the things that happened in your life and will help you to positively look forward to another day. Types of therapy that are available could include drug therapy for depression and anxiety, relaxation methods, natural remedies, cognitive behavior therapy, etc.
For some parents, writing their feelings in a journal and perhaps turning that journal into a book or report that may help other parents in the same situation can sometimes help to ease some of the pain.
You may be able to learn how to manage your stress, anxiety and depression yourself. There are a multitude of self-help books everywhere you turn. Several of these will be listed below. Strategies such as meditation, deep breathing and muscle relaxation may be very helpful. You may have to undergo a self-reassessment to discover what your strengths are as well as your weaknesses. Once these have been identified, you can take steps to eliminate some of the weaknesses and strengthen the areas where you are already strong.
Remember that though you are no longer a primary caregiver for your children, if you have visitation, make sure to make the most of those visits. Concentrate on the children, let them see that you are working to achieve a positive balance in your life and be a role model for them.
Never, never point a finger of blame at the custodial parent of your children, yourself or them. Children don’t always understand why their parents behave as they do but negativism has a way of infiltrating and downgrading everyone’s mental health and it must be avoided at all costs.
Keep in mind that your children will not always be children. As they grow through the years, give them a reason to keep you in their hearts and minds and you may reap the benefits when they are themselves young adults. At the very least, you can be certain that this will have a bearing on how they raise their own children.